The Shades of Woodstock.
Woodstock 1969................The days of free love, before HPV.
A time of plentiful drugs, some of the more natural kind, some quite trippy. It was a three day affair of life changing music, dancing, peace and mud.
A time when all the hippie chicks wore floaty fairy dresses and denim with holes and patches that came from actual wear time. Purses, jackets and jeans were fringed, crocheted, macraméd, patched and hand-tooled. People wore rainbow John Lennon glasses just because the world looked pretty that way. Blondes were often a natural ashy blonde gently highlighted by the sun or some lemons. Makeup was minimal, if at all.
Young women were natural breasted, braless wonders, the original clan of flower children robed in handmade bohemian chic, not the re-done fashion version made in India, China or Vietnam.
Ladies were genuine in almost every way. Hair was long, straight, curly, frizzy or whatever original condition it came in. Some ironing (with a real iron) exceptions applied. Mostly tresses were “as long as you can grow it” hair, worn unkempt and with pride by both men and women.
BTW, I mean all hair, uptown and down.
*Just for the record, I was not at Woodstock, but I have seen the movie and heard some pretty colorful stories.
Today, we are currently experiencing lock in and therefore locked out of our familiar and relied upon caretakers of the maintenance of our gender. Multiple weeks are passing and I am beginning to sense a resurgence of the mood and look of the late 60’s.
Ladies who have been accustomed to lots of girly maintenance and fast fashion are having a “Come to Jesus” moment. Myself included.
We are suffering the rude effects of the loss of our: hair colorist and/or stylist, waxing salon, manicurist, eyebrow specialist, and even the face doctors.
Hair
As for me, I missed my hair colorist appointment by two days because of the announcement of the “Safer at Home” order, which means I am about six or more weeks into my “New Normal”. Apparently, my natural blond is both much darker and lighter than I remember.
Almost platinum. When did that happen?
As far as a cut, in this emergency, I can manage a light dusting of a trim to my frayed ends. Similar to a Super Cut’s quickie. Nothing precise but acceptable enough. However, if you have
a hair style that requires a regular cut or trim, you are probably feeling quite shaggy.
No worries. A grown out and wrecked shag worked well in 1969.
However, don't try cutting yourself a shag at home now. You have been warned.
You see, once upon a time, years ago, I took a shaving razor to my perfectly straight Peggy Lipton hair after I saw Jane Fonda’s protest shag. Unfortunately, I was not Jane Fonda and my talent with a shaving razor on real hair was severely underdeveloped.
I will say no more.
As another option to the hair blues, there are plentiful u-tube tutorials. Not the cut your own hair vids. Correcting those will keep my stylist busy for months when the world rebalances.
I mean the how to do a fancy hippie chic braid vid. As a fail-safe, there is always the old school pony tail of the high or low version.
And what is up with that Tele-Tubbie high top knot ladies wear on the very tip top of one’s head? Don't hate me. In my opinion, don’t do that one. Most people just look like a version of the pin head girl in American Horror Story’s Asylum. I know that sounds pitifully politically incorrect but that’s what they called her.
Shame them, not me.
And for all those ladies that stocked up on extra TP and sanitizer, I bet you wish you had put some boxed hair color on your survival list right about now. Too late.
There is a shortage of that too.
However, I did buy up all the L’Oreal Easy Apply Haircolor I could find.
I stored it in my mini U-Haul and I’ll be coming to a town near you soon.
Uh, No I didn’t, but I should have.
Waxing
Even if you got your waxing of Downtown Disney done a few weeks ago, with four weeks plus ahead in “Stay at Home” mode, well, my BFF’s, welcome to more shades of Woodstock.
We are all going native downtown. Hair down to there, hair everywhere.
Except one of my besties, who has her own waxing set up at home. She has all my respect.
It takes true grit and fearless discipline to wax your own. I would need something body numbing, like super strength RX painkillers or a magnum of vodka, which would also impair my judgment and much needed accuracy.
She says she manages well, but has suggested getting all of brazil can be a challenge.
Unless you are one to bring back the razor, likes crotch stubble and in grown hairs,
say it with me ……..”Welcome back to 1969”.
Nails
For all of my lovelies that have embraced the faux nails, I have seen a very effective u-tube trick with a dental floss pic for getting the little buggers detached.
I personally have stubs for nails because I don’t want to spend all that money every two weeks. Don’t get me wrong.
I would love to have my nails look like those
of a sparkly geisha, but it is too expensive
to be on my regular essentials list.
We all have our priorities.
Under the circumstances, I have a great deal of empathy for these ladies of the gel and resin. Right about now they have stubs that look worse than mine covered with lots of excess glue.
Eyebrows & Stragglers
As for eyebrow sculpting, not a problem for me. I only have 10 eyebrows left. Not my fault. Something just happened. I blame it on my late in life law school education. After one particularly hard semester, I noticed some of my eyebrows just decided they were going on Spring Break. Well they must have liked it so much, they came back for their friends and none of them ever came back. So currently I am new besties with my micro-blading professional.
My next appointment is sometime in the future.
However, you ladies that do regular brow upkeep, try and order yourself up a pair of needle-nose tweezers. They are sharp as heck and can also be used as a defense weapon when taking a late night intercity walk or run. They are exceptionally good quality and can work for pulling any rogue nose or facial hairs too. I am warning you.
It can be extremely painful. If you pluck in the nose region, tears will flow and uncontrolled sneezing fits will follow.
Just for fun, don’t forget to ask your honey if they want help.
Great for a quarantine laugh.
Braless Wonders
Generally, most of my GF’s are part of a bra wearing society today. Bra options are so plentiful, made better, more attractive, and certainly better sized than in years past. We also like to keep some real support on those expensive add-ons, here in LA. Traditionally we stay hoisted up for going out and then rip things off, immediately after landing at home. Ahhh.
Yet with this new undefined normal, we are finding ourselves cozy & comfy at home a lot.
No longer is it essential to stay so structured, under cover. I hear that Ladies all over the country are just chillaxing and letting the girls go free all-day long. Not just inside the home either. They are out running and all kinds of things are bouncing and swinging around.
Yes, another sign we are willingly returning to the roots of our braless hippie sisters.
Makeup
Most of us have two faces, the one you wake up with and the one we leave the house with. Sometimes these faces are one in the same. For many of us lovelies, they are vastly different. Generally we have a collection of treatments and makeups that can be applied or not, depending on the occasion. There is career face, date night face, church face, lunch with GF face and Costco face.
Then there is the “Stay at Home” face which often resembles the “Wake Up” face.
It is devoid of most color and definition, sometimes mottled, ruddy and dry.
It was a lovely face when youth shined bright. Naturally glowing.
Now it takes a mountain of moisturizer, various serums, highlighter and maybe even a little filler and Botox.
Well, those options are on hold.
If you relied on them, get ready to say “Hello” to............ Lady Dorian Gray.
Anyway, the longer at home, the less makeup, and the less maintenance is going around just like in the days of 1969.
The more time without our accustomed grooming professionals, the longer and unkempt the hair is getting, everywhere. I just hope with all this deferred maintenance that we can agree that it still a good idea to take regular showers, wash your “Stay at Home” hair and that deodorant is non-negotiable.
There are only so many shades of Woodstock in 2020 that a girl can take.
Later my pretties.
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This too shall pass.....